


Dammit Cas!

by Grace_28 (orphan_account)



Series: Funny Cracks of Destiel [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crackfic!, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Pickup Lines, puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:55:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 11,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22037401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Grace_28
Summary: The horrid times of when Castiel finds out about corny pick up lines through Siri and begins to use them on his boyfriend, Dean Winchester. However, Dean refused to be a part of this bullshit.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Funny Cracks of Destiel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617022
Comments: 29
Kudos: 63





	1. Part I: Heaven

It’s been about a year and a half since Team Free Will defeated God, and about a few weeks since Castiel was given an iPhone. Life was more peaceful now. There were no terrifying dangers looming over them, obviously. God had been the most powerful thing they’ve been up against and nothing has been able to top him. The team had small hunts to go on, and injuries received were quickly healed by their nephilim and angelic best friends. Now that they were in the comforts of their own home, they were free to-

“Dean.” Castiel’s deep voice called for his best friend to come out of the kitchen. The archangel was sitting on a recently bought couch in the bunker, holding his phone, or as Castiel personally called it, ‘the Siri’. Dean looked up, his mouth full of the apple pie that Castiel had made with Jack’s help. “Please stop eating pie for a moment. I need to ask you a very important question.”

“Well, okay.” Dean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. With a sigh, Dean walked out of the kitchen and stood in front of Castiel. “What do you want to ask?”

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”

“What the hell?” Dean sputtered. 

“Cause it hurt when I fell for you,” Castiel said very sincerely. “I was also struck down from Heaven, and it had really damaged my wings, so I need to make sure that you’re okay if you did so.”

“Oh my god,” Sam bursted out into a fit of giggles. “Cas, are you serious?”

“I always am.” Castiel frowned. “Why?”

“You just used a goddamn pick up line. What the hell man?” Dean stated as if it were the most obvious fact in the universe.

“Whatever’s wrong? I thought they were used to break the ice.” Castiel said, gesturing towards the ice cream Jack was holding awkwardly. The nephilim waved when he noticed that all the attention was on him. Dean rolled his eyes, folding his arms immediately.

“You cannot, I repeat, cannot use a pick up line on me!”

“Oh. I’m very sorry then, Dean.” Cas pursed his lips. “I understand.”

“Good.” Dean turned his attention back to the pie he had left alone for Cas. “I can go back to eating my beautiful pie now.”

“Say, um, Cas,” Sam called out after Dean disappeared. “How-how’d you know what a pick up line is?”

Jack waddled over, interested in hearing information about the human world. Castiel, in turn, waved his phone around with a smile.  
  


“The Siri told me in her recommendations. The Siri said that pick up lines were sure to make someone laugh.” Castiel recalled the memory of the robotic voice. Sam raised an eyebrow. At this, Castiel let out a very sad sigh. “She has some very interesting things to say if you just listen.”

“Yeah, sure.” Sam dismissed him. With that, Castiel continued to scroll through his phone. Maybe… Dean was offended that he’d stopped his pie eating time. Castiel should make it up to his best friend.


	2. Part II: Hell

Dean and Castiel were sitting on the couch that they recently bought for the movie room. Daily, the Winchesters, the angel, and the Nephilim would watch movies together to pass the time. But, at the moment, Sam was buying groceries for the three of them, which mainly consisted of beer, pie, and snacks. And milk and nougat for Jack. Usually, they would sit in silence, playing with eachother's hands until they were smiling and giggling for no reason. However, Castiel had turned to Dean with a troubled look on his face. “Dean,” he called.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Dean immediately put his beer bottle down on the table. He clapped his hands together and looked at his angel.

“I think I need to ask you another question,” Castiel said nervously. Dean narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

“What, man? Last time you told me a goddamn pick up line,” Dean accused.

“And I’m sorry for doing so, Dean, but I will assure you that this is not another ‘pick up’ line.” Castiel's hands motioned the quotation marks. “I believe that this is some sort of joke.”

“Alright. Let’s hear it then.” Dean sighed. For all he knows, he will never understand any of Castiel’s jokes. Especially since he blew up all the lightbulbs when his finger was pulled and laughed. Stupid Cas with his stupid corny smile with his stupid-

“Dean, if you aren’t an angel from Heaven, are you a demon?”

“I was,” Dean frowned with a hum. His frown quickly vanished as he remembered how Cas had hugged him to help him calm down. ''But I was cured. Remember?"

“Yes, I know, but I needed to make sure because you’re fine as hell.” Dean sat up straight, than he ever was, and glared at Castiel.

“Get out.”

“What did I do?” Castiel tilted his head in confusion. Dean felt the incredible need to forgive him because of how adorable he looked when he was confused, but the damage had been done.

There was nothing the angel could do to numb the burn of the salt that was poured over his wound.

“Get out.”

And that’s how Sam found Castiel sitting down with a firm pout set on his face in front of the movie room 15 minutes later. When Castiel explained, he jus laughed and went inside the movie room to scold his older brother.


	3. Part III: Pop-Up-Ad

While he was very proud of the result of his hard work, Dean was also very pissed off at his angel. Castiel, who offered to stay, help him, and clean up afterwards, left rather quickly a few minutes ago. And Dean had a difficult time knocking the fences in place; on top of his lack of sleep. Dean could really use a 72 hour nap right now.

He could mentally hear Castiel’s monotone voice already: ‘Dean, you shouldn’t wish yourself into a coma.’

Dean angrily yawned at the thought as he walked through the freshly painted gates of the bunker. It’d been Castiel’s idea- to protect the bunker from buffering idiots like zombies and ghosts. And so, because of Castiel’s adorableness (and realization that he could spend more time with his angel), he had spent all night driving to different stores for ‘perfect’ fences, and the entire morning setting it up.

In his opinion, they should’ve hired someone else to do the job.

“Dean, you alright?” Sam asked his brother. He put his ginormous book down and stared at his older brother. “You look awful.”

“Nice observation, Sammy. The best one yet,” Dean said while he rolled his eyes. He felt bad for snapping at his baby brother, but he felt really cranky too. In fact, he felt more cranky than apologetic. “Where’s Cas?”

“Taking a shower,” Jack smiled. “Dean, I just read a book on how ‘the law’ works. Should we really make false credit cards with all of these ‘police’ people out there?”

“We don’t make it, the government gives it to us,” Sam explained gently, trying not to expose his lie. “We use the government’s money to make sure that we have enough supplies to get rid of monsters.”

“I get it.” Jack nodded. With that, Castiel reappeared.

“Dean. Please take a shower,” Castiel said. “You’re dirty.”

“No thanks to you, Cas.” Dean furrowed his brows, his green eyes focusing on nothing whatsoever. “Where’d you run off to 30 minutes ago?”

Castiel’s face turned red as his expression stayed serious. “I… encountered this problem. I had to quickly take care of it.”

“What problem?” Dean scoffed.

“Let’s just say that you're making me feel like I have something in common with these ‘pop-up ads’ Sam is always complaining about.” Sam’s eyes widened, completely understanding what Castiel had disappeared for. Dean, on the other hand, was frustrated and confused on what Castiel was even talking about.

“What do you-” Jack started before he was rudely interrupted by a tall moose. Sam cleared his throat a little too loudly.

“So what were you two doing all night? I noticed that you didn’t come back in.”

“Building a fence around the bunker.” Dean replied, shrugging the dirt off his leather jacket. Castiel nodded. “Cas thought that it would make a good barrier if monsters go after us.”

“And Dean agreed.” Castiel beamed.

“But why does he look more tired than you?” Jack frowned. And why did he get a boner, Sam wanted to ask before he realized that he would have to explain to the young Nephilim about birds and bees… and if it was okay for men to get boners over other men. Which it definitely is, but he wasn’t sure how to explain how to get boners over other men.

“Oh, I’ll explain it to him.” Castiel beamed.

“Alright, I’ll go shower then.” Dean said as he turned away. However, he didn’t walk fast enough to completely miss the explanation Castiel provided.

“Dean’s very tired because he was not only working, but he was also running through my mind all night.”

“Dude!” Sam said far too loudly. “You can’t use a pick up line, meant for Dean, to Jack! Especially, Jack! That’s not how these work!”

“Oh, my mistake.” Castiel apologized. However, he didn’t look apologetic. The bastard seemed rather smug when Dean’s face turned red. And Dean had never fought an urge greater than to smack Castiel at that very moment.


	4. Part IV: Parking Ticket

“Who the fuck put this parking ticket on Baby?!” Dean hollered, snatching the ticket angrily. Sam and Castiel shrugged. Jack tilted his head in confusion.

“Watch your language.” Castiel gestured to the 3 year old nephilim.

“ _Whom_ the fuck put this parking ticket on Baby?” Dean corrected, shooting a glare in Castiel’s direction. The angel sighed, turning his back to shoot Sam a look.

“What’s a ‘fuck’? And what is a ‘parking ticket’?” Jack asked innocently. Well, in a way like how a 3 year old could ask a question without whining.

“Fuck... is a bad word, Jack. Don’t say it,” Sam immediately responded. “And a parking ticket is what the police gives you if you park your car in the wrong place.”

That statement was meant for Dean.

“But it’s Baby!” Dean ruffled his hair. “Besides, what credit card should I use to even pay this?”

“Does it really matter, Dean? They’re all fake.” Castiel pointed out.

“Obviously.” Dean rolled his eyes when he noticed the slight smirk in Castiel’s smile. He had this horrible feeling in his gut that was screaming out for him to not say anything. However, he pushed that aside and grumbled, “What?”

“I just realized you are a parking ticket yourself, Dean.”

“Is it because he’s always staying in the wrong place?” Sam asked quickly. Dean barked out a sarcastic laugh before glaring at his younger brother.

“Why is he a parking ticket? He is not a car, right?” Jack questioned. Castiel shook his head.

“No, he’s not a car, Jack. It’s because he has ‘fine’ written all over him,” Castiel said with a proud smile. He looked at Dean with his chin raised, waiting for a very cute reaction. He absolutely needed to see Dean as an absolute mess for his "puns" he had wrongly dismissed.

“Oh my God-“ Sam managed to choke out as he wheezed. Jack grinned and gave a polite chuckle.

“You-” Dean shoved a finger into his boyfriend’s chest while he said angrily, “will not sleep on our bed tonight.”

“Why?” Castiel shot him puppy eyes with hurt written all over them.

“Don’t you use that shit on me. You know what you did.” Dean sent another glare before he crumpled the parking ticket, tossed it aside, and got into the Impala without saying another word.

Castiel huffed and pouted. He'll make Dean blush with his "puns" one day.

“Sam, what is a ‘shit’?” Sam sighed again, glaring in his brother’s direction.


	5. Part V: Sorry

“Jack, did I do something wrong-?” Castiel was about to ask his son-like figure. However, Jack froze like a deer in headlights, dropping his spoon. He immediately moved his body to hide the marshmallow cereal, chuckling nervously.

“Don’t tell Sam.”

“You have my word,” Castiel said with a smile. “Do you know what I did wrong to anger Dean?”

Jack stayed silent for a few moments, munching on his marshmallows. “Maybe you said something incorrectly when he got out of the car. But, you should ask Dean and see if you could make up with him.”

“I understand,” Castiel nodded. “I will apologize to Dean for saying something that was offensive to him when he received a parking ticket for his Impala.”

“That’s the spirit.” Jack beamed. “I gave my first pep-talk!”

“I’m proud of you, Jack.” Castiel put a hand on the young Nephilim’s shoulder. Jack smiled back before he turned his attention back to his cereal.

With that, Castiel went to his separate room to think of what he was going to say to Dean. When he figured out what he was going to say, he practiced. Then, a few minutes later, Castiel knocked loudly on Dean’s room before opening it. 

“Come in,” came the gruffy voice. Castiel fidgeted with his hands for a few milliseconds before opening the door. Without even giving the hunter a chance to speak again, Castiel began.

“I’m very sorry for hurting your feelings, Dean,” Castiel started off. “It was wrong for me to be inconsiderate towards the Impala’s parking ticket. I should’ve known to not get involved when your “Baby” was on the line.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” Dean looked at him in confusion. Castiel dropped his gaze.

“Oh.” He said.  _ Well, this was awkward. Should he apologize for apologizing about something he did not do? _

“Were your feelings hurt?” Dean cleared his throat. “When I sorta avoided you?”

“Sort of. I can’t really tell since my heart was already stolen. Humans seem to understand that you can’t feel an emotion if you don’t have a heart.”

“Oh my god. Not again.” Dean whispered in horror. 

“So get this-” Sam stopped in his tracks. His eyes darted between the two of them and opened the door wider. Castiel dashed away like they were two teenagers in a room doing… stuff. Sam sent Dean a disgusted look and left before he could explain.


	6. Part VI: Hands

“Please, Cas, I’m begging you man. No more pick up lines.” Dean shook Castiel’s shoulders aggressively once they were walking out of the doctor’s office. “It’s really hard to concentrate on hunting when you’re saying a snarky remark about everything.”

“I agree, although it is something that randomly appears at times.” Castiel smiled brightly. Dean let out a relieved sigh. 

“That’s good.” Dean said before he turned to his brother. “So what do you think is going on here, Sammy?”

“It’s Sam.” Dean flicked a wrist in his direction. “The same as back then. Anyways, the doctor said that he had seen this condition before, but she is unable to save the victims. She needs an antidote, which she doesn’t have.” 

“Right.” Castiel smiled. “However, all she needs is Holy Water.”

“Well, I think it’s Amara.” Dean concluded. “She did this before. Question is, why again?”

“Perhaps, God did something to make her mad. She always wanted to destroy something when God pissed her off.” Jack observed. “Like how she tried to destroy the world since he created the world by locking her in a big cage of nothingness.”

“Good job, Jack.” Castiel smiled. He beamed again before returning to his normal facial expression. 

“Let’s split up, cover more ground.” Dean spoke. “Cas and I will go West while Sammy and Jack can go East.”

“Alright.” Everybody agreed. The group only separated for about 5 minutes when Castiel turned to Dean with a frustrated expression. He gestured to Dean’s arm frantically.

“Dean.”

“What?” Dean asked worriedly.

“That looks really heavy. Aren’t you going to damage your shoulders?”

“What? This bag?” Dean raised an eyebrow. He raised the duffle bag filled with equipment, just in case they met a rogue werewolf, vampire, or whatever they usually come across. It was its usual weight, Dean knew for sure. However, Castiel shook his head furiously before grabbing his right hand. He looked at his boyfriend with a bright smile, full of ease now.

“Much better. Doesn’t your shoulder feel lighter?”

Dean blinked several times before looking up at his shy angel. Dean blushed, and he quickly yanked his hand out of Castiel’s and covered his face. “I’m trading you for Jack.”

“What? Why?” Castiel frowned. "Are you okay, Dean? You look rather-"

"Shut your piehole."


	7. Part VII: Seduce

“So… how’d you do it?” Crowley asked as he ordered 2 shots of vodka for his friend. Castiel raised an eyebrow in suspicion, but took it into his hands anyways.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

“How you managed to snag one of the Winchesters. Clever work.” Crowley took a shot.

“Dean?” Castiel asked. Crowley nodded as he called for another one. Meanwhile, Castiel was confused. He didn’t know either. Dean just said, and he quotes, ‘Kay. Well, let’s go eat some pie’ before leaving him. Did Dean even love him?

“No idea.”

“Really now?” Crowley directed his attention back to his company. “No idea whatsoever?”

“No idea.” Castiel repeated. Then he stopped and looked at the King of Hell suspiciously. “Why are you asking?”

“No reason. Just plenty of souls nowadays are begging for Dean to even look their way, but you’ve been receiving them without even raising a finger.” Castiel shrugged in response. “And I’m even more surprised by you.”

“Again: I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I mean, you actually like him, don’t you? An angel usually doesn’t have feelings. You know, because you don’t have a soul. Like us demons.” Castiel silently agreed, finally deciding that taking a sip of the vodka wouldn’t be too bad. “Oh, no, you’re drinking it wrong.”

“Hmm?”

“You have to tip the glass, throw back your head, and swallow everything.” Crowley assisted. Castiel complied and he immediately felt his head pound. 

“Wow, okay.” Castiel widened his eyes in awe. He immediately reached for another glass and gulped it down in the same manner. Crowley sighed. 

“That was _my_ shot. Anyways, let’s continue. How did you really, really make Dean fall in love with a heartless warrior of God like you?”

Castiel, already drunk and an extreme lightweight, giggled and laid his head between his palms. He tried to look as adorable as possible. “I’d like to think I’m really cute.”

“Sure you are.” Crowley furrowed his eyebrows, partly in disgust and partly in amusement.

“Crowley, I think that’s enough.” Dean cleared his throat, his firm hand on the drunk angel. He knew he had to stop this before something horrible occurred. Not everyday did he come home to Castiel getting asked to go to a bar with the King of Hell. Not everyday does the King of Hell attempt to get Castiel drunk to spill his relationship secrets. It was just a matter of time before some bullshit happens to the three of them.

“Heya, Dean.” Castiel smiled widely and kissed Dean’s hand sloppily. “You look really pretty!”

“Cas, are- are you drunk?”

“I’m not drunk! I’m just intoxicated by your existence.” Castiel cutely rolled his eyes. And there was that bullshit now. Dean glared at Crowley and gestured to Castiel.

“Seriously?”

“What? He took the shot.” Crowley shrugged.

“Whatever. We’re going home.” Dean sighed. Castiel nodded childishly. Once they were outside, Castiel stomped his feet like he did when he was a young, young angel. “What?”

“Did my awkwardness seduce you?” Castiel winked awkwardly as if he was being possessed by Lucifer. Dean had immediately burst into loud laughter.

“That’s a question I’ll answer when you aren’t drunk.”

“Well, that’s not fair.” Castiel pouted.


	8. Part VIII: Prison

After Sam and Dean were caught for scamming credit cards, Castiel felt the immense need to just let them rot in there. Since they obviously couldn’t stay dead in Heaven, Hell, or Purgatory. 

Jack, however, turned them into his new idols and condoned them for doing so. He thought it was heroic to be put into prison. (He didn’t get the concept that prison was bad. He simply refused to listen to Castiel about the matter.)

“You guys were put into prison. Again?” Jack asked wide eyed after Dean told him how he was arrested before. “How is it? It must be so cool.”

Castiel glared at Dean, trying to urge him not to say anything that would make Jack want to become a criminal. Dean shrugged, holding the prison phone in his hand lazily. “It’s a really tough job, kid.”

“That must be awesome. Hey, Cas, think we can go to prison one day?”

“It’s not something to look forward to.” Castiel explained gently. “Dean was being reckless, and he got caught for doing so.”

“Not listening to your rants again.” Dean rolled his eyes handing the phone back to Sam.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Sam.” Castiel and Jack greeted. “How is prison?”

“It’s a bitch, but it’s good so far. Dean isn’t getting into fights, so that’s good I guess. Oh, and really miss you two. Any chance you can talk to the big man upstairs?” Sam referred to the angel possessing the head of the police department right now.

“Sorry. He hates you two.” Castiel shook his head.

“Dammit, alright. Only two more days right?” Jack nodded. The group stayed quiet for a moment, Dean getting more bored with each second that passed.

“I want to go to prison one day.” Jack finally confessed, a bright glint in his eye. Castiel shot a worried glance to Sam, who returned it. Without saying another word, Sam passed the phone back to Dean.

“What?”

“Jack wants to go to prison because of you, assbutt.” Castiel accused. “Fix this.”

“Why? I didn’t even do anything to-”

“I’m sorry. I have no choice.” Castiel mockingly repeated what Dean said before he punched the shit out of one police officer and got handcuffed by another policeman. “If your heart is a prison, I’d love to be sentenced forever.” 

“Alright, I get it. I’m sorry!” Dean raised his hands up in defeat. Dean looked at him in disgust. “Just please, no prison pick up lines! I didn’t even- fuck you- I’ll talk to him!”

Castiel straightened his back and grinned in satisfaction. Perhaps, pick up lines can benefit him instead of just making Sam and Dean mad. “Good.”


	9. Part IX: Soul

“Why do you continuously go play pool?” Jack asked. Dean’s head snapped up, his forest eyes gleaming in excitement, as Castiel’s head drooped down.

“I’m good at it, man. Why else would I bet money on the game?”

“Good point.” Castiel sighed. “But, he means that he goes for the wins and to boost his ego.”

“He does.” Sam admitted. Dean shot him an offended look. “Admit it, Dean. You only go for the money and girls.”

“There’s nothing to admit.” Dean shrugged, Castiel’s heart falling a little when he didn’t deny the ‘girls’ part. Who is he kidding? Dean doesn’t like him that way. He only accepted his confession because he felt pity.

He couldn’t help the tears from swelling up in his eyes. “You okay?” Jack whispered. Castiel nodded and smiled softly. Luckily, none of the tall(ass motherfuckers) men noticed them. They were rather engrossed in their bickering.

“I have to go take care of some of Heaven’s errands.” Castiel stood up and stretched. Without another word, he stretched his wings and took off to the nearest lake.

There, he admired the green scenery, the beautiful chirps of colorful birds, and the blueness in the water. He hesitantly looked up to the sky and closed his eyes. He felt the breeze brushing against the skin of his vessel and the coolness of the tree that was shading him. Castiel was reminded of when he was first created. He was not specifically created by God, of course, but rather by the first angels of God. They were each majestic, and strong, powerful beings that were extremely beautiful. Castiel used to look at them and dream of becoming respected like they were.

Gabriel, his older brother, would fly him through the endless seams of everything and nothing, drop him into the endless void and practice his dives. He was perfect at it. They always smiled in each other's presence. Michael, in various good days, would sometimes join in along with other angels. They would fly by when they were dismissed from their duties and play ‘Catch Castiel’. And when Castiel was strong enough to fly, he insisted on flying downwards as he dropped so he could feel stronger winds blowing against his mighty feathers.

He loved his family, as they to he. And he loved feeling as though he had a purpose as an angel. He protected Heaven and he did God’s work. It was something he was accustomed to, and he took it for granted.

And he knew that, eventually, all good things would come to an end.

“Cas. There you are.” Dean shook him awake before he could go through his worst memories. “You’ve been gone for 2 days.”

“Really? I didn’t realize.” Castiel stood up, his wings feeling a bit lazy from being spread out for so long. He was too busy thinking of his family. The ones that he lost when he led them in a war. The ones that he cruelly murdered to achieve his goal.

“You alright, man? You bolted and made everyone worry about you.” Dean’s eyes trailed over the majestic wings he encountered when he first met Castiel, but it had quickly disappeared.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you guys worry.”

“Don’t ever apologize for making us worry. It’s a ‘human emotion’.” Dean quoted. Castiel smiled brightly. “Besides, I was talking about money. You were probably uncomfortable since the only currency up there are souls.”

Castiel’s smile grew. “Thanks, Dean.”

“No problem.”

“You know, worry is not just a human emotion. I worry about you sometimes too.”

“Really? An angel can feel a human emotion?”

“When I lost my powers, yes.” Castiel playfully rolled his eyes before continuing. “If I had a soul for every time I worried about you, I'd be the least powerful angel alive because you always do something to be worried about.”

“Are you just saying that because you don’t have to worry about me dying and not raising from the dead?” Dean winked. Castiel sighed.

“No, I said that because you never leave my mind.” Dean quickly turned away and cleared his throat.

“Alright, um, let’s get you home. Jack and Sam are really worried.” Castiel let a depressed sigh escape. Another failed attempt to get Dean to react.

“Okay.”


	10. Part X: Fine

One day, Castiel disappeared after a hunt in North Dakota. Sam and Dean constantly wondered and prayed for him to visit since Jack absolutely refused to say where he was or what business he was doing. Damn kid had been blackmailed by the cereal he ate for his dinner(s). A month had passed before the weary angel finally flew back into their lives.

“Sorry I’ve been so out of touch.” Castiel managed to croak out.

“Where the hell were you, man? Gone for a full month! No calls, no texts, no nothing!” His boyfriend yelled at him. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, Dean was the one who was most worried.

Castiel sighed, refusing to answer his question. “How are you, Dean?”

“Fine.” Dean snapped.

“Dean, I didn’t ask how you looked, I meant how you feel,” Castiel’s eyes twinkled at his line. Dean rolled his eyes.

“You were gone for a freaking month and the first thing you do is say a goddamn pick up line.”

“And I apologize. Well, I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.” Castiel grinned, forcing Dean to roll his eyes again.

“Correction: 2 pickup lines.” 

“Cas, I’m just glad you’re back. You had us worried.” Sam smiled.

“Thank you for your concern. However, I am in one piece and there is no more need for worry.” Castiel smiled back just as brightly. “How were you, Sam?”

“We were fine. We had found a few hunting jobs. They weren’t as difficult as they used to be.” Sam shrugged.

“Any injuries?” Castiel asked, more towards Dean than anyone else.

“We’re fine.” Dean cleared his throat. Castiel frowned and walked over anyways, putting two fingers on everyone’s foreheads.

“Why did you lie?” Cas asked. Dean shrugged.

“We were fine.” Dean said. “How did you tell?”

“You always lie about your injuries.” Castiel answered. Shrugging his bloody trenchcoat off to reveal the tight clothing that revealed his muscles. Dean gulped and tried his hardest to focus on the Nephilim, who was obviously about to explode if he didn’t get the things off of his chest.

“Cas, can I tell them where you were?” Jack gave him puppy eyes. Castiel scrunched up his nose(cutely, Dean would have insisted on adding).

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. In the meantime, I’m going to take a shower and a nap.” 

“I thought angels can’t sleep.”

“When you’ve been running for 30 days, your human vessel will need time to rest.” Castiel deadpanned with a roll in his blue eyes. “Excuse me.”

“Right.” Dean furrowed his eyebrows as the angel disappeared. Then both large Winchesters turned to their newest addition on Team Free Will, who looked fairly excited. “Well?”

“Cas was travelling and helping all the angels all over the world who requested his guidance. Cas is so cool, isn’t he?” Jack jumped up and down excitedly. It was clear that Castiel was now his newest idol. The idea of desired imprisonment was lost forever.

“Really?” Dean raised an eyebrow. Jack grinned.

“He really didn’t want me to tell you though. He said something about making Dean ‘cutely’ worry.”

“Son of a bitch.” Dean cursed. Sam immediately laughed. 

“That does sound like Cas.” Sam managed to say. “And he told you because…?”

As if on cue, Jack’s eyes immediately widened and he took a step back. “I’m going to go to sleep.”

“I thought Nephilims don’t go to sleep.” Dean wondered out loud. Sam smirked, taking another glance at the doorway that Jack had vanished into.

“They don’t. Jack has a secret he isn’t telling us.” A few days later, both brothers found out what the Nephilim was being blackmailed with when Sam asked ‘where the fuck’ the marshmellows in his favorite cereal went and Jack walked out the room like his life depended on it.


	11. Part XI: Eyes

“So?” Dean asked with a playful tone. He arrived with a black suit and a matching tie. His hair was gelled and he wore a charming smile, which was accompanied by his big ego. “How do I look?”

“You look very nice, Dean.” Jack complimented while Sam said he looked like a jerk. “Is this friend of yours really getting married?”

“Unfortunately, Charlie is getting married.” Sam chuckled. “To a fairy.”

“A fairy?” Jack wondered. “So Charlie is gay. I mean, lesbian.”

“Yes, she is. Also, Jack, do you like video games by any chance?”

“What are-”

“Alright, got the message. Charlie is really amazing in video games and role-playing games. I’ll have to tell her to let you play sometime.”

“Video games. Sounds fun.” Dean grinned. “So, while Sam and I act as best man, you and Cas will sit in the front row. Basically turn around when everyone turns around and clap when everyone claps.”

“Okay.” Jack grinned before his smile dropped quickly. He turned around, looking for the angel, but he was nowhere in sight. “Where is he?”

“Cas?” Dean raised an eyebrow. Jack nodded.

“Is he helping people again?” Then there was a flutter of wings and Castiel had appeared, with his usual messy hair. And an extremely bloody trench coat. None of the blood had gotten on his face, or his shoes by some miracle.

“I’m very sorry. I came as quick as I could.” Castiel sighed, shrugging the bloody trench coat off, revealing his clean shirt and tie. He tossed the bloody angel blade onto the table and changed his pants to the formal black one on the closest chair. “Where’d I put the jacket?”

“Here.” Sam cleared his throat and tossed him the black suit. He didn’t realize that both his best friend and his brother would be matching.

“Thank you, Sam.” Castiel finally looked up when he finished changing. His jaw immediately dropped when he saw Dean standing there with a raised eyebrow.

“Where were you?”

“I um…” Castiel struggled for words. Jack quickly handed Sam a hair brush to fix Castiel’s disastrous hair. “I had to help guide some souls into Heaven.”

“Souls? Definitely more interesting than a wedding.” Sam grinned. Castiel’s attention seemed fully locked on Dean, however. He mindlessly nodded.

“So how do I look?” Dean asked Castiel, turning his back to see if there was any dust there. Castiel remained quiet, his eyes staring into his very soul. “Cas?”

“Sorry. I'm still not sure whether you're beautiful or pretty since I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.” Castiel said. Dean’s eyes widened before he turned away and coughed.

“Let’s go.”

Castiel’s bright expression fell. Sam and Jack both sent him a look of sympathy before they followed after the eldest Winchester. He reluctantly followed them. What could he be doing wrong? Was the Siri incorrect? 


	12. Part XI: Bees

Castiel’s fingers ran through his dark locks in frustration. He could not seem to remember, or find, where his stuffed bee was. It was a gift from the Winchester brothers after he had officially moved into the Bunker. The bee was lying on the bed with a ‘Welcome home, Cas’ sign on it, and it's never left the room since. But now… Castiel can’t seem to find it.

With an angry huff, Castiel stormed outside. “Cas, what’s wrong?”

“I lost something very important to me.” Castiel admitted to the younger Winchester.

“Want me to help you find it?” Jack asked with bright eyes. He shook his head no and ran his fingers through his hair again. It was a habit that he formed after seeing many times when he buys groceries.

“No thank you. Where’s Dean?”

“He’s taking a shower.” Sam replied, turning his attention away from the computer completely. The moose rubbed his tired eyes and smiled at the baby in a trench coat. “What’d you lose?”

“A bee.”

“A bee?” Jack tilted his head in confusion. “Why would a bee be very important?”

“Jack, bees were used to represent peace and hard work in Heaven. They were also the symbol of Jesus.” Castiel explained kindly. “In addition to that, it was something that Sam and Dean gave to me. Of course it is important.”

“Oh, like food and clothes.” Jack reasoned. Castiel nodded

“Exactly like food and clothes.” 

“So, um, you kept the bee then?” Sam cleared his throat. Castiel smiled softly.

“Yes. And I usually rest with it in my arms. However, I can not find it today.” 

“Oh.” Both guys sighed. Sam gave him a tight-lipped smile. “You can ask Dean if he saw it though.”

“Saw what?” Dean appeared with a bathrobe on. He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively to the robe. He was silently asking his friends if he looked good in the blue bathrobe. Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“My bee.” Castiel said.

“Bee? What bee? I didn’t see any bee.” Dean frowned. Castiel’s hopeful expression fell instantly.

“This leaves me no choice then.” Castiel frowned. “Dean, I lost my stuffed bee. Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Dean’s eyes widened in shock. Sam stifled a laugh. “Well, Dean? Are you willing to be Cas’ lucky huggy bee?”

“Shut the hell up, man!” Dean wailed before he stomped angrily. He looked at Castiel in utter betrayal. “I thought you weren’t going to use any pick up lines, Cas.”

“He didn’t.” Jack defended his fatherly figure when Castiel tried to speak for himself. “He asked to sleep, didn’t he?”

“In a perverted way!” Dean shouted in exasperation. Sam sent him the look of betrayal himself when Jack’s face turned into confusion.

“What do you mean by ‘perverted’?” Both men asked.

“The hell with that, Jack! I will not sleep with you tonight. Period!” Dean scolded harshly. Castiel sighed in defeat.

“Alright,” he said quietly. “Good night.”

“Nice one, Dean! What if he can’t sleep?” Sam partially yelled at his older brother when he knew that Castiel was in his own room. Dean immediately hung his head.

“I panicked, alright?” Dean said. “Imagine if some angel asking to sleep with you. You’d freak out too!”

“I wouldn’t.” Sam said. In truth, he would react the same way with Gabriel. Difference was that he wasn’t dating the angel.

“I’m going to go lend Cas my stuffed animal.” Jack abruptly stood up and walked away. Sam sent a warning glare at his brother before following the young Nephilim. With a new, stuffed tiger in his arms, Castiel slept peacefully while Dean was stressing out over a missing bee. Dean found it next to a rather large storybook about angels and humans in love the next day.


	13. Part XII: Stars

“Cas, I never asked you why you didn’t want to truly go against Lucifer back then.” Dean realized, his eyes widening. Dean turned to his friend and immediately noticed the faraway look Castiel gave. “Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?” Castiel turned to him quickly. “What were you saying?”

“Oh…” Dean sighed. “I was wondering why you didn’t go against Lucifer?”

“Oh, that.” Castiel hummed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“I don’t mind.”

“Oh.” Castiel smiled tenderly at the thought of his older brother. He hummed again as he looked up into the well lit sky. “My explantation will be rather long. Please bear with me.”

“No worries. We got a whole lot of time before Sammy buys the right amount of pie,” Dean grinned. Castiel chuckled.

“When I was first created, as a small and weak angel, Lucifer was… one of the first beings I saw. And I say beings because we don’t actually have a shape. Like all things before Earth, we were made of absolutely everything and nothing at the same time. Anyways, Lucifer was dazzling. Even for an angel, he was far more beautiful. His cosmic dust… It just amazed others. And his wings- his wings were extraordinary. He was kind, and he loved everyone equally. But, like God himself, Lucifer loved humans when they were created.”

“ _ Satan _ loved humans?” 

“Yes, he uh, he loved them more than every other angel did. He loved them  _ too _ much, one would say. And when he was given the Mark… Lucifer’s capacity for love was contaminated by his ability to see all the wrong in the world. Before Michael banished him to Hell, Lucifer created the only thing Heaven knows was archangel powered: the stars.”

“The stars?”

“Yes, and he took all of us young angels to view them closely. The stars were bright and so brilliantly blended to formulate the atoms necessary to shine even on the darkest nights. And so, they became a reminder of an angel we once loved and respected. And I knew that I couldn’t bring myself to hurt someone who created something beautiful, or a brother that had never gotten a chance to explain himself to the others,” Castiel ended softly. Dean nodded silently.

He wondered what that might’ve been like. To see something so amazing, only to lose a brother. In all honesty, if Sam was… in Lucifer’s place and he was in Cas’s, he would’ve let Sammy do anything. 

“Sorry, man.”

“No need to be sorry. We were, after all, quite young.” Castiel chuckled.

“Why’re you laughing?”

“Oh, I just thought it was funny.”

“What?”

“A millennia ago, I wondered when I would meet somebody or something that made me smile like the stars in the sky used to. And now, I’ve found him.” Castiel grinned, feeling a bit foolish for exposing this piece of information. Castiel turned to look at Dean, who knew his face looked dumbstruck.

“You sap.” Dean glared, but he couldn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot.

“Dean. You know that if I had a star for every time you made me smile, I’d have enough to make a galaxy.” And indeed, somewhere in outer space, the band of shining stars formatted in Dean Winchester’s smile twinkled brighter.


	14. Part XIV: Tuesday

“Why… are you so excited?” Sam furrowed his eyebrows. Jack grinned back at him, pausing from his frantic skipping around the bunker. If he answered randomly, it would be somewhere among the lines of ‘I want to be a moose too’. However, Jack quickly learned that it was good to tell the truth sometimes.

“We have no cases.”

“That does seem to be the case.” Castiel grinned. Dean groaned out of frustration.

“Seriously? That’s what you-” Dean stopped himself there. Partly because he had repeated it so many times, but mostly because his pie was getting colder.

Castiel shrugged, smiling at Jack. “So what are you truly thinking?”

“Maybe… Maybe we can do something as a family.”

“Or they can go on a date.” Sam pointed out. Dean sent his brother a glare.

“Or we can all go to the movies.” Castiel kindly told the young Nephilim. “It is my deep understanding that you have taken a liking to ‘superheroes’.”

“Right, Jack, why don’t you go choose a movie?” Sam cleared his throat, unlocking his phone and handing Jack the phone. “You can search up any movies and then we can link it to the tv in Dean’s room.”

“Hey!” Dean protested. Sam stuck his tongue out childishly.

“You and Cas can go on a date if you don’t want to.” Dean pouted angrily, before relaxing in his chair. It wasn’t a bad idea, but Dean truly had no idea on what to do on an actual date. And he couldn’t expect Castiel to know since he is an oblivious angel.

Without saying a word, Castiel stood up, placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “We should watch a movie with Jack and go on a date on a Tuesday, so I can relive it over and over again.”

“Did you…” Sam narrowed his eyes. “Were you there on Tuesday?”

“No. I am the angel of Thursday.” Castiel deadpanned. When both Winchesters raised an eyebrow, the angel sighed loudly. “Yes.”

“Then why…”

“Why did I not help you?” Castiel asked. Sam nodded while Dean was confused about which Tuesday they were talking about. “Because I had no reason to.”

“What?” Castiel shrugged.

“Gabriel was my brother, but I often stay out of his jokes. It never benefited me to intervene.” 

“Guys, I want to watch this one.” Jack finally waved the phone around. Castiel smiled brightly as he walked over to Jack. “I think Iron Man is awesome.”

“Seriously? With the lights coming out of his hands and face?” Dean mocked. Castiel sent him a nasty glare in order for him to shut up. Dean cleared his throat.

“It reminds me of angels because we, too, have something placed within our vessels.” Castiel said gently. Jack’s smile grew wider. “We also glow due to our grace.”

“You do?”

“Yes, our eyes glow blue whenever we feel we need to, and our wings are visible,” Castiel said.

“Wow… angels are Iron Men!” Jack grinned. He handed the phone to Sam, and looked up at him expectedly. “Please?”

“You got it,” Sam said. They spent the next 7 hours watching all 3 Iron Man movies.


	15. Part XV: Story

“So all this time… The Word was God’s story?” Sam asked Castiel for the fifth time. However, with both of them being hopeless nerds, Castiel brightly answered him again.

“Yes, since the beginning, Father had been writing.” Castiel grinned. “He created plans for every individual in existence until the end of time.”

“Like he did with Michael and Lucifer.” Dean drawled out, sighing as he sat up. Sam sent him a frown. 

“Dean, that was uncalled for.”

“Like how we were their true vessels.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Can we talk about something else?”

The group stayed quiet for a while before Jack spoke up. “I was told by Naomi that the creation of angels was… interesting. Cas, do you know anything about it?”

Castiel beamed at the young Nephilim’s question. “Of course. Every angel, archangel, and Nephilim was created with the knowledge of how they came to. Archangels, though I wasn’t born at the time, were the commanders, the fierce leaders that were all seated beside our Father. They were powerful, and they understood everything God understood. Angels, like me, were created to be the soldiers that carry out God’s commands. We were created specially to have our entire world revolve around serving God’s purpose. And Nephilims like you, who were borne from human and angel, were created from when grace and human fluids mixed. They are very powerful, more than an angel, and yet to be tested against an archangel. They have no purpose themselves, which used to make them very dangerous.”

“I understand.” Jack replied, smiling a little. Dean and Sam, however, did not understand. “And what if a demon tries to have a child with a human?”

Castiel looked at the Nephilim in surprise before narrowing his eyes in deep thought. “There has never been a case where demons have offsprings with man.”

“Oh.” Jack furrowed his eyebrows. “But… wasn’t Lucifer a demon?”

“No, he was cast down from Heaven,” Castiel explained. “Fallen angels do not turn into demons.”

“How about the creation of all things in general?” Sam asked. Castiel’s expression quickly turned grave.

“If I told you, you would not understand. Humans were not created to understand how Heaven and the universe came to be. Knowing the information would hurt you.”

“Oh.” Sam and Dean both let out similar sighs. 

“However,” Castiel continued, seemingly debating something, “I can try to use terms that will be understandable to human function if you’d like.”

“Sure.” Dean finished the last of his pie and simply laid back down.

“In the beginning, there was nothing.” Castiel started off. “God and Darkness ruled the nothingness, hand in hand. They were happy because they were family and they had each other. However, God always felt a hollow feeling in his being, so he created the universe and its planets. Yet, he was torn because he was not powerful enough to do that in the beginning. He had to sacrifice his sister. So he sacrificed and created. He started with small objects like the Sun and the moon. Then he created land and sea. He created animals and their habitats before he created humans.”

“Is that why Darkness was so pissed off?” Dean asked, thinking of the woman. “She mentioned once that she wanted to destroy everything God created.”

“Yes, Dean.” Castiel answered. Looking at the time, he turned to the young Nephilim. “Jack, it’s time for you to go to bed.”

“What?” Sam looked at his older brother in disbelief. ‘The kid had a bedtime?’

“That was your… ‘bedtime story’ as humans call it.” Dean snickered.

“Remember when I used to tell you stories?” Dean nudged Sam. Sam rolled his eyes in response.

“You sucked.”

“But they worked.”

“Sure they did.”

As Jack was ushered off to his room, Castiel returned with a tired sigh. “Nephilims these days.”

“Nephilims these days?” Dean echoed. 

“Yes.” Castiel nodded. “I’m off to bed.”

“Cas.” Dean cleared his throat. “You aren’t going to tell Sam here a story?”

“Dean!” Sam protested. He sent Dean a bitchface that said ‘The dude is tired, you jerk!’

“Why does Sam need me to tell him a story, Dean?” Cadtiel looked genuinely puzzled. “You are my story, and I write you into everything I do, everything I see, everything I touch and everything I dream. You are the words that fill my pages.”

“Wow, okay, Shakespeare.” Sam smiled. Dean’s face was red out of embarrassment. 

“I’m going to bed.” Dean muttered, quickly standing up and walking away. Castiel’s gaze remained on him until he fully disappeared.

“Sorry, man. Dean’s just not good at this.” Sam smiled apologetically. Castiel sighed.

“I know.” Castiel found himself saying. And deep inside, he wondered if he truly  _ did _ know.


	16. Part XVI: Bartender

“Hey, gorgeous.” Castiel jumped before turning around. The voice belonged to an attractive man, probably mid 30s. He was really good-looking with the fluffy black hair, charming blue eyes, and his incredibly sharp jawline that complimented his pink lips. Castiel furrowed his eyebrow in confusion, and he looked around to see if there was anyone else the man was talking to. Before he could figure it out, the man continued. “My name’s Ezekiel and I’m going to buy you drinks until you think I’m attractive.”

“I’ll have water, thanks.” Castiel politely declined. Then in a moment of realization, he offered a hand. “I’m Clarence.”

“I’m Ezekiel, and I suppose I am attractive to you then.” Ezekiel’s blue eyes twinkled as he handed Castiel a glass of water. 

“No comment.” Castiel replied.

“So what’s a cutie like you doing tonight?”

“I’m not alone. I’m here with my friend Dean.”

“I don’t see your friend around, Clarence,” Ezekiel frowned. “So what brought you two here tonight?”

“I heard that there was an attack a few nights ago. I convinced Dean to take me here.”

“Ah, the woman!”

“Were you working?”

“Sure. I just changed shifts with my buddy.”

“Was there anything strange about this woman?” Castiel asked seriously.

“Yeah, but you’d have to pay me to know that kind of info~” Ezekiel grinned. Castiel frowned.

“I don’t have any money on me.”

“Well then you could just dance with me?”

“I don’t dance.” Ezekiel pouted.

“C’mon what’s one dance worth?” he asked.  _ Information _ , Castiel immediately replied in his mind. “Fine, just tell me something about you. And the information’s free.”

“Why would you want me to tell you something?” Castiel narrowed his eyes.  _ For leverage? Over Dean? _

He shrugged before smiling. “Just wanna know a little somethin’ about everyone. Makes this job worthwhile.”

Castiel sighed. “I have a boyfriend, you see. And he’s just more interested in flirting with women and pie.”

“That’s not right. I’ve seen this too often, and Clarence, some guy like you could definitely do so much better than him.”

“Like?” Castiel raised an eyebrow.

“Me, for example.” He winked. Castiel just stared at him blankly. Finally, he sighed. “There was this girl sitting a few chairs away from me, and she suddenly showed these… fangs. Then she bit this person’s neck and pretended that she was attacked by him. Poor man died quickly.”

“So a vampire?” Castiel asked nobody in particular. “Or a siren that uses human blood to stay on land.”

“If they exist, then somebody needs to call God and tell him that he’s lost his most beautiful angel.” Castiel frowned again, drinking some of his water quietly.  _ He was never the brightest in Garrison, and he was exiled by his brothers and sisters. This man doesn’t understand what he’s speaking of.  _ “Clarence, don’t make that face. Conflict isn’t a good look for your pretty eyes.”

“Hey. I was looking for you.” Dean glared coldly as he roughly grabbed Castiel. Castiel tumbled out of his chair, and brushed Dean’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Ezekiel asked. Castiel nodded wordlessly. 

“15 minutes are up.” Dean rolled his eyes and pursed his lips.

“Excuse me, who are you?” Ezekiel narrowed his eyes.

“His boyfriend. Who are you?”

“The man who can apparently treat him better than you could.” Ezekiel glared back just as fiercely.

“Dean! Ezekiel! Stop it.” Castiel pushed both of them apart. Then he turned to Ezekiel and smiled awkwardly. “Thank you for the information.”

“Let’s meet again, Clarence.” He winked, his other eye twinkling in mischief. Ezekiel began to make his way towards other customers. Castiel opened his mouth to reply that he wasn’t going to meet him again, but then Dean growled.

“What?” Castiel snapped at Dean. “We could’ve finished figured this all out if you waited five more minutes!”

“And let him touch-” Dean stopped himself from continuing and opened the door to his Impala 1967. “Get in the car, Cas.”

“What?”

“Get in the goddamn car!” Dean growled again. Castiel furrowed his eyebrows before sitting himself inside. Dean started the car and got onto the freeway before Castiel spoke again.

“Since when are you so grumpy?”

“Since when do you flirt with a man other than me?” Dean’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Castiel rolled his eyes, worsening Dean’s foul mood.

“Like you don’t flirt with women? Besides, I was not flirting with Ezekiel.”

“Oh really, and you’re on first name basis with that stupid bartender?” 

“I was speaking with him about the case and he just happened to say something in the heat of the moment!”

“The heat of the moment? That was a rather  _ flirty _ moment, wasn’t it?” Dean accused. Castiel sighed.

“We were discussing-”

“As he spoke dangerously close to you and touched you! What if he was this thing? Huh?” Castiel frowned.

“Dean, he had a soul, and he was human,” Castiel sighed again. “I don’t understand why you are so jealous of Ezekiel.”

“I don’t like people  _ manhandling _ my angel, alright?” Dean glared at the road. Castiel stared at him for several moments. Then he closed his eyes and leaned against the window.

Even now, Dean didn’t acknowledge him as his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could this be the end of Destiel? What do you guys think?


	17. Part XVII: Eyes

Dean and Castiel both returned to the Bunker the moment they hunted the son of a bitch. They didn’t even make it in the library before Castiel turned sharply. “I’m going to bed.”

Sam and Jack’s head snapped up immediately. Sam cleared his throat. “Done already?”

“Yes.” Castiel replied curtly. Dean quickly found the woman Ezekiel described and beheaded her with his machete. No other killings had occurred, so they considered the job done.

“It turned out to be a siren.” Dean added on. Castiel just rolled his eyes and continued walking.

“What’s up with him?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged, heading towards the refrigerator. He pulled a beer bottle out and took two big gulps. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” Dean curtly responded.

“I think they had a ‘fight’.” Jack said.

“We didn’t.” Dean said.

“Then?” Sam asked. Dean shrugged again.

“This guy was getting handsy with Cas and I told him to piss off.” 

“You told Cas to piss off?” Jack asked. “Why?”

“No, I told that guy to piss off.” Dean took another gulp from his beer.

“So you guys fought-” Sam started before he was cut off by Dean saying that they didn’t, “because you were jealous of that guy touching Cas? Since when did you care?”

“Because he’s my angel.” Dean shrugged for the third time. Sam sighed loudly. He was very familiar with Dean’s language of horrible wording. But, Cas was probably upset because they were new to this kind of thing.

“Dean, last time I checked, you told Cas that his pick up lines were annoying.”

“They were.” Dean took another gulp out of his beer. He didn’t see the problem. That attractive blue eyed guy was handsy with Castiel and had flirted nonstop. Castiel had defended him. Which pissed him off.

“And you didn’t really act all lovey-dovey with Cas.”

“Because we’re both dudes.” Dean replied. 

“Angels have no gender though.” Jack stepped in when Sam was clueless on what he should say. “Is-is… Cas going to leave? I’m going to miss him.” Jack suddenly said, pouting.

“What? No, no he is not.” Dean assured him. He scoffed at this absurd idea.

“Dean, you don’t know that.” Sam said. And when Dean opened his mouth, Sam continued, “You can’t make him. He is literally 5 times stronger than both of us combined.”

“Right.”

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” Sam had asked.

And that’s why Dean ended up in Castiel’s room, where Castiel was wearing nothing but a towel on his lower half. “Dean, what are you doing in here?”

“I- uh…” Dean’s eyes trailed over Castiel’s finely toned muscles. His abs were finely toned, and his thighs were as thick as Dean has ever deemed perfect, and his biceps looked strong enough to hold him. He felt his lips dry at the very sight of it. Because,  _ god, is that what he was hiding under that annoying trench coat. And god he’s acting like a teenage girl.  _ He swallowed nervously when Castiel walked closer with his wet, messier-than-usual hair.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” Dean lost his voice. He cleared his throat loudly. “I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry. My jealousy got in the way of our case.”

Castiel blinked in surprise. “It’s fine.”

“Cool.” Dean clicked his tongue. “Alright, see you tomorrow.”

As he turned to leave, he felt Castiel’s rough hands on his hand. “Dean, are you alright?”

“Yeah… Yeah I’m fine.” Dean cleared his throat. Castiel was not convinced. And he didn’t let go until an idea came into his mind.

“Dean. No wonder the grass was so grey today. All the green is in your eyes.” Castiel said. Dean’s face immediately turned red, and as he tried to pull free, Castiel brightly smiled.

“Cas, my hand.” Dean pointed out, trying to avoid making eye contact.

“I know.” Castiel said. Dean looked up in surprise. Without saying another word, Castiel closed the gap between them, placing a light kiss on Dean’s temple. He took pride in how the redness reached his freckles and highlighted them ever so nicely. “Good night.”

“N-night.” Dean quickly turned away and exited the room. Castiel smiled brightly, and his chest felt lighter than ever. Maybe… just maybe, Dean actually felt the same way as he did.


	18. Part XVIII: Stars 2.0

“Dean. I just had this idea.” Sam turned to Dean very suddenly. His brother sat up, alert and giving him his attention. “What if, Cas is just giving you pick up lines because he wants to know if you love him based on how you react?”

“Possibly, but, dude. He can read my freaking mind if he wanted to. Wouldn’t that be easier?” Dean rolled his eyes. He slumped back into his chair, tapping his finger onto the table. He was so hungry, and Castiel was out, killing angels, and the pizza man was taking too long. He mentally shot himself when he imagined Castiel opening his trenchcoat and dubbing himself as the pizza man.

“Yeah, okay, but what if you start using pick up lines on him too? Maybe he would know you feel the same way and he’d stop?” Sam suggested. Dean’s eyes shot open.

“Holy shit. That could work.” Dean said. “Stanford actually helped you after all.”

“You’re welcome.” Sam scoffed.

“Thanks, Samantha.” Dean rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.” With that, Dean left Sam alone to his studies. Partly because he cared for his brother’s education, but mostly because he had to figure out what to say to Castiel. This needed to be a  _ game changer _ . This needed to blow Castiel’s frickin’ brains out if he wanted him to stop for real.

“Where’s Jack?” Castiel asked a few hours later. He shrugged off the trenchcoat with a loud sigh. “And where’s Dean?

“Well, Jack is in his room, eating some pizza and I don’t know what Dean’s doing.” Sam replied, his eyes never leaving the textbooks.

“Alright.” Castiel took a seat next to the younger Winchester. “What are you reading?”

“This English book I need to read for my final exam.”

“I don’t understand. I thought you know English?” Castiel tilted his head.

“What?” Sam’s head snapped up.

“You speak the language correctly. Why are you continuing to read about learning English?”

“Erm, it’s obligatory. I have to take English every year.”

“Why?"

“To enhance my vocabulary.” Sam shrugged, as though it was not a big deal. To Castiel, however, it was a big deal.

“Why relearn English when you can learn other languages?” Castiel asked. Sam furrowed his eyebrows.

“I actually don't know.” Sam simply replied. Castiel accepted his half-assed answer and waved when Dean appeared. He smiled brightly, and Dean just knew he had to beat the angel to it before some sappy bull was said.

“Hey.” Dean greeted. Sam gave him a small greeting before turning back to reading and taking notes. “Cas, how long were you here?”

“A few minutes.” Castiel shrugged. “Jack isn’t with you?”

“Kid’s asleep.” Dean answered, walking over with an unsure smile. He shot a look to his brother, who just gave him a thumbs up without evening glancing at him.

“Are you okay, Dean? You look very nervous.” Castiel pointed out, worrying for his boyfriend. Dean sent him a shaky thumbs up. Then, putting on the most charming smile he could make at the moment, Dean began to speak.

“Cas, I was just wondering if God was a thief. You know, since he stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes.” Sam looked up slowly, excited to see the reaction of the angel. However, Castiel had no trace of emotion on his face. And Dean, who was awaiting his response, did not know what to expect. A grin? A scowl? You never know with angels, man.

“Dean.” Castiel said after the silence in the room became deafening. “My eyeballs would be incinerated.”

Sam had immediately burst out into loud laughter. Dean’s hopeful and nervous facial expression turned into immediate disappointment. He let out a loud sigh and he turned around to head to his room, muttering things like  _ “This bitch” _ and  _ “Why did I even try?” _

“What?” Castiel tilted his head curiously. 

“Nothing- just-” Sam continued to laugh. “Cas, you are the best!”

“Thank you.” Castiel said with a smile. “Why did Dean go to his room though? My eyeballs aren’t gone are they?”

“No, it was just something Dean and I were thinking about. Thanks for answering our question.” Sam managed to cough out. Castiel immediately gave him a wary glance as he handed the tall moose a water bottle.

“If you say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Sam's hit bullseye~ What do you guys think?


	19. Part XIX: My Burger...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus my wifi is getting so bad these days. :'(

Castiel was beyond pissed off. He had sent Dean on a mission for the double stuffed bacon burger joint they passed, only to receive a call from a suicidal vampire. He literally had to “follow” the clues, and finally ended up at the same place he started at. And Dean did not have any double stuffed bacon burger in his hand. So yeah, don’t blame him for not being pissed off.

“And then man breathed his last.” Castiel growled. The vampire who had kidnapped Dean suddenly froze, and started to panic, reaching out to grab onto his trenchcoat. Castiel ignored her, stomping towards the other vampires. 

Out of pure fear - Castiel could feel it- the vampires started to run away. Castiel sighed in relief, unsure of whether he could fly to the Impala. He wasn’t sure whether he could heal Dean at this rate, even if he was able to fly Dean to the Impala. He started to tilt a little to the right, almost falling over. “Cas!” Dean rushed in, holding his angel upright.

“Dean, you didn’t get my burger,” Castiel said drowsily. 

“Of course not, you son of a bitch. I was kidnapped,” Dean shushed him, putting one arm over Castiel’s shoulder. He helped Castiel onto his feet. “Don’t ever do that again, you stupid son of a bitch.”

“Sorry.” Castiel tilted his head. “Wait, why are you here? I told you to run out to get Sam and Jack.”

“Yeah, but I ran back in,” Dean explained. “Didn’t want you to be in here alone.”

Dean’s face flushed with embarrassment, and he turned away awkwardly. Castiel smiled softly at the thought of Dean worrying about him. “Your grace is fading quickly, Cas,” Jack’s voice suddenly appeared.

“I know,” Castiel sighed. “But, let me heal you, Dean.”

“Hold your horses, buddy. You’re sleeping for 72 hours,” Dean said, calmly lowering Castiel’s hand.

“Dean, you shouldn’t wish me into a coma,” Castiel replied as he furrowed his eyebrows. Dean folded his arms, wincing at the pain in his hand.

“Man up,” Sam scoffed. Dean rolled his eyes again.

“I can heal you now and save us the trouble,” Castiel offered, to which both Winchesters denied needing. “Jack?”

“I’m good,” Jack answered. Sighing, Castiel began walking slowly out the vampire nest.

“Whoa, easy there.” Dean rushed over when Castiel stumbled. Castiel looked up, staring into Dean’s green eyes.

“The vampire told me to tell you that you’re a “knight in shining armor”,” Castiel frowned.

“What did you say?” Sam’s head snapped up.

“I mean, you’re Dean. And though you do heroic actions, you don’t exactly ask for praise when you do. In a way, you’re far more superior than these humans in “shining armor”,” Castiel continued. Dean’s face flushed madly at the compliment, almost dropping Castiel onto the floor. Although the shade of red complimented his freckles ever-so-perfectly, Castiel tilted his head in confusion. “Are you really okay, Dean?”

“I’m fine. Just, uh, think you need more than 72 hours,” Dean coughed out and hurriedly helped Castiel to the Impala without another word. Castiel frowned again, and he made a mental note to take the Winchesters to the nearest doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a random question:
> 
> Is this series fun to read???


	20. Part XX: Angle of the Lord

It was just another typical day in the Winchester boots. They were investigating yet another case, and they were gathered around to hear what Sam had figured out about the monster they were going to hunt.

“So… Why do you drink… ‘Blue Moon’?” Jack asked after everybody nodded in agreement with the plan. The question sparked Castiel’s interest, since he himself was interested, so he turned and waited for Dean’s answer.

“Because it’s good.” Dean shrugged. “And I feel good when I drink something good.”

“Why don’t I feel good when I drink water then?” Jack asked. Sam tilted his head like a confused dog. In cases like this, Castiel wondered how Sam could consistently acted like a dog, and a moose. He would be the adorable star of a talent show, which he should convince Dean to speak of again. He'd fallen asleep after hearing Dean's voice, and he deeply regretted that.

“Well, Jack, beer is different compared to water. In beer, there are certain happy chemicals that water doesn’t have.”

“I understand.” Jack smiled. Then, normal conversations returned and Jack slipped away. A few hours later, Castiel found himself growing worried over the young Nephilim. 

He pulled Dean aside, knowing that every time Jack was missing, Dean was somehow involved. Last time, Dean told him this ghost story about his stuffed animals. Jack freaked out and spent hours outside the Bunker in fear of his own bed. Sam had reprimanded his older brother for many hours. But, he was mildly disappointed when Dean was holding another beer, this time being Heineken, and didn't know where he was. “Where’s Jack?”

“Dunno.” Dean shrugged. The duo walked towards the kitchen, bickering on why Jack isn’t with the other person. Just then, the door to the Bunker flew open and their partly-feathered friend walked in with a dazed look. “Jack?”

“Hey, Dean. Heya Cas.” Jack smiled. He tipsily walked down the stairs, managing to go down a few steps before falling over.

Castiel instantly rushed over and put two fingers on his head, checking and healing any injuries he could have gotten in the fall. “Jack, where were you?”

“In a liquor store.” Castiel’s facial expression immediately soured at the memory of when he drank a whole liquor store. “Did you know there are more beer types other than Blue Moon?”

“Yes.” Castiel said.

“And?” Dean questioned. Castiel shot him a look. Looking at his confused face, Castiel immediately understood that Sam did not tell Dean about the time when he downed an entire liquor store. Jack turned to him.

“And I drank it.” Castiel almost wanted to laugh at the similarity between them. If only Kelly could see them now.

“Jack, why don’t you take a rest in your room? Sam wanted to tell you something about the hunt in Ohio, but he fell asleep waiting.” Jack pouted.

“Cas, you’re an angle of the Lord, you can’t tell me what to do.”

“But, I am responsible for you. Now take some rest.” Castiel spoke, trying to seem as kind as he could. Before Jack fully turned around, Castiel narrowed his eyes. “Did you just call me an angle of the Lord?”

“If you were an angle, you’d be acute one.” Dean slyly said. Both Castiel and Jack turned to him in confusion.

“This isn’t funny, Dean. Jack is going to recieve a headache tomorrow. There should not be any mathematical education at the moment.” Castiel frowned. Dean groaned in exasperation. Because  _ that _ was the last pick up line he would do to Castiel. 

“Never mind. Just… Just have a good rest while you can.” Castiel smiled at Jack, ruffling his hair. Jack gave Castiel one last pout before heading towards his room. “What?”

“Nothing.” Dean grumbled. Castiel tilted his head in confusion and slowly walked away.

“Good night, Dean.”

“Night, Cas.”


End file.
